I spent many years working to establish my career in the beauty industry, working to impress the right people for the right opportunity that may come in the future. Doing what I should do and what I was supposed to do, and following the rules. It appeared from the outside that I had an amazingly wonderful life, a high income, a beautiful home, a beautiful luxury car, a wonderful husband, what more could a girl want, right?
Well, let's take a look at the inside of my life at that time. I was working 80 hours a week and my marriage was both emotionally and mentally abusive and eventually became violent. I suffered from severe panic disorder and was in a constant state of anxiety, confusion, depression, fear, walking on eggshells, hiding my true self, with my boundaries over stepped and felt alone. I was emotionally drained with silent tears, felt worthless, defeated hopeless and stuck in a nightmare I wasn't sure out to get out of.
This, of course, was just the advanced place of the past that haunted me. The past that entailed growing up in an environment with addiction and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), a period of homelessness, mental, emotional and physical abuse. The several sexual assaults and the choice of of being sold or my life.
In the summer of 2007 I made the choice to claim my freedom and find my joy. I decided to make my life mine, find my true self, my own calm strength, my own joy, my centered internal peace, my way of who I am in this world and to no longer ever apologize for it and most importantly, to heal from it
What I learned in the process is, you can't simply escape it, you have to face it and heal it, or another form of the same patterns and experiences will reoccur repeatedly until you do. The hardest part and yet the most important part is, to kiss it goodbye with love for it and what it taught you.
I walked away from everything, my now former abusive husband, closed my business, left my car, my home and most everything in my home. It was one of the scariest times in my life and that leap of courage and faith in myself was the best choice I ever made.
For these reasons, these days I'm deeply passionate about womens inspiration and womens empowerment.
If you do what your clear intuition is asking, you'll get what you need to accomplish what's next in your life.
Today I am full of calm and unshakable strength.
I'm free to be 100% me and I love me.
I have claimed my true authentic self.
My inner light shines bright.
YOU CAN TOO!